Do you see the light that is reflected back never realizing what is right below the surface?
Or do you peer into the depths, looking for something hidden and special, but ignoring what is offered?
No matter where you focus your eyes, there is always something more to see than what you take in at first glance...
The true gift is to try to see a little bit of both...
I have to give credit for the start of this thread to Ony, whose link to Conscious Light eventually lead me to clear light yoga and a discussion on luminosity & consciousness...
I have (mostly) ceased to be surprised when I come across something written ages ago that describes a type of experience in exactly the same way I think of it often using the same words, such as the weighless feeling that comes from being suspended in a sea of light... Sometimes I think to myself, 'Oh, I must've read this somewhere before', only I know I haven't...
So how is it that I've experienced an integral part of a religious practice that I've never even heard of before, when I haven't spent years studying, practicing & suffering under the tutelage of a wise master of whatever it is? Am I the embodyment of all religion everywhere?
In my grandiosity periods (when the well seems so very far far below) I find that an attractive and amusing idea, but Occam's Razor tells me it's not likely...
The logical side of my brain tells me that it's more likely that these wise people figured out how to DESCRIBE something that IS, that exists as an integral part of the world, in such a way that others could attempt to experience it for themselves... Over time the words, the descriptions & the methods take on a life of their own and become more important than the experience itself...
Novelists and storytellers prefer the epic battle, the civilization in the balance tipping point kind of battle... But how many times can the entire battle between good and evil balance on the end of a pin held by a (mostly) untrained and unaware, but very pure and powerful person?
I think the battle happens every day... In the little spaces and dark corners...
And I'm not sure it's so much a battle as it is a keeping of the balance... You start by balancing yourself... When you can balance on the end of your own pin then you know you have it right...
And sometimes that in itself is a lifelong exercise... But it's not everything...
Balancing yourself is a very small part of the battle between balancing and falling... And the beautiful part is getting past yourself to try and help bring a greater balance to your family, your friends, your community and your world...
And I forget that all this is exactly what I've chosen it to be...
And yes my locus of control is extremely internal, but that doesn't make it any less true...
And that if you give a man a fish he eats for a day, but if you teach him to fish he eats for as long as... well until his fishing license expires...
but that's a story for another day...
Today...
Today I am sitting on the edge of a very high cliff...
Singing all the songs I know...
:*
Doesn't THAT sound self absorbed...
How do I improve the quality of my relationship with myself? I mean, we have the quantity part down... After all I spend every minute of the day with me, whether I like it or not (and believe me there are times when I just wish *I* would shut up and quit remembering stuff already)...
So how do I go about improving my relationship with myself, if what I want is to become a better person, not just a more self-focused one?
Are we talking tough-love here? (As in get your hiney to the gym and quit putting it off!)
Or self-acceptance (I'm ok, you're ok, even those pictures from the 80s are ok (am I pushing it?))
Maybe it's taking a walk on the wild side...
or the spiritual side...
or even the 'take a chill pill' side...
Measure twice, cut once...
A penny saved is a penny earned...
If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all...
If a tree falls in the wilderness (ok you get my point)...
Sigh...
Such a pretty path a new year makes...
But where to place the first steps???
What I really mean is 'Give me 5 minutes to get tired of my own damn self and I'll figure how how, indeed, to do this'...
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
Funny how one small thing can change your entire outlook...
And make today an entirely different day than yesterday...
Yesterday I was at the bottom of a deep deep well... But even from there I knew it was silly, just an illusion... and that eventually it would pass...
Today... Today I have to start over...
Glimses of clarity are a gift...
As clear and soft as icy water flowing over polished stones...
And even though I know that well being born of oxygen enriched air and bright glorious sunlight flowing straight into my eyes is a purely chemical reaction...
I can still feel the touch of the trees and the songs they sing...
Right before they go to sleep...
photo: zappowbang
Sometimes it's the deepest, most intricate stories that never get told...
Maybe it's because they're too personal to share... Or maybe it's because they refuse to accept that they are complete... that this is the story...
Some how it seems to me the stories that end simply
'She spend the rest of her life looking to the sea...'
Don't do justice to how long forever is...
It's funny how your focus can change...
How things that were vitally important, just aren't ... anymore...
and you never really notice it's happened...
Until something causes you to look back at where you were...
Just one year ago...
Sometimes I am still not sure where to put my foot next...
And then I discover, when I turn around...
That I've gotten there anyway...
Or cauliflower... or liver... or blue cheese... or paint their fingernails
Real women DO pump gas... and swear... and fix computers...
But not cars (that's just gross)...
REAL women behave the way *I* expect them to... and those who don't...
Are imaginary? Invisible? Men???
I mean really... Have you ever stopped to think about how silly that phrase is? And what it really says about the person making such a statement?
'I believe VERY strongly in [this behavior or THAT characteristic], but I don't trust that I can convince you to come along quietly solely on the merits of [this or THAT] so to be on the safe side I will question the very basis of who you are.'
Huh? Who falls for that???
Who?
Note: These images are not the ones that inspired this post... But they were RIDICULOUSLY easy to find... In fact, Google returned over 43 MILLION hits... :p
